Talking Shit
April 1, 2024
Today I am thinking about what is it about hating that is so fun. Me personally I try pretty hard to not be talking to much about anyone unless it is something nice that I am saying or like it is needed to be said. I really even try not to talk about stuff that I do not like. Mostly I try to only talk about things that I really love and am passionate about and that usually keeps the conversation pretty positive. I am a big believer in that what you project into the universe you will get back. Like I fully believe that if you are only putting hate and negativity out into the universe that is what you will get back. Energy works like that in a circular motion and I think it gains momentum. I think usually if I am being a good and positive person it comes back to me paying dividends. Like for example one time one of my GF’s roommates really didn’t like me. She was talking all over town about how I was trying to control her life and all this crazy stuff that just was not true at all. Basically she ended up saying this to her brother as the reason her and my GF weren’t friends anymore. Her brother and I really don’t know each other super well. We have probably hung out like 5 times total. But he knew my ass was too chill and good to be acting like that. He literally thought that his sister saying that was so suspicious that he decided to reach out to my girl and get the real story. And we don’t need to get into the weeds but lets just say he ended up organizing an intervention for his sister hahahaha. So anyways my point being, being a good a and positive person has really paid dividends in my life and even knowing this, being a hater is so fun. I find that I have a tendency to really get on a soapbox when it’s time to start talking shit. Maybe its because I have been holding it in. Maybe I will be thinking it and then not saying it. I think that thinking bad stuff about people is not as bad as saying it but is also not good for you. I really can’t say. Because then that stuff really is just floating around in your head. I think it is good to talk some shit with someone you trust who knows you just need to get it off your chest or something. Maybe write it in a journal. Really it is hard to say what the best option is. I think that negative thought lead to negative talk for sure but it is unavoidable sometimes I think. Just having mean thoughts about people that is. Why does it feel so good though? Sometimes if I really get on the soap box about someone and people are laughing it feels so good. It feels good to have them laugh because then maybe it feels like I know that they agree. Truly is hard to say. It is such a hard thing not to do. I really do try my best though. I think I love gossip also which is bad. Like I will let other people gossip to me and not really try to get them to stop because we all love other peoples drama I think. That’s all that TV shows are basically. Anyways do y’all like talking shit.?
Old Guy Mode
March 24, 2024
I’ve been thinking a lot about music stuff lately. Some music is truly so boring. After being at tree fort last week I was honestly blown away by how boring some of the music is that people play. Like I went and saw some bands that people had told me about that were good and I thought it was so boring. I think for me being boring is the worst crime art can commit. I also am trying not to be too critical of stuff recently, but man stuff is so boring sometimes. I know also that I am not that patient sometimes but I do think that l am usually patient enough to know feel something out to know if I like it or it’s good. I do think though that I can usually sense when art or specifically music is sincere. I do think that people can make sincere art and have it still be boring and when that happens I almost feel bad for not liking it. Maybe it’s just that my tastes are getting more specific. I wonder if maybe I am liking less stuff because I know what I like more now. I just feel like in the last little while I find less and less stuff that does it for me or makes me really excited. It is just hard to tell if I have good taste or I becoming like an old man and don’t like stuff. I still try out a lot of new music I just feel like I enjoy less of it now. With that being said it does make me way more excited when I do find something that I think is really good or gets me excited. Hard to say. I also think because I am around heavy music a lot I have really been enjoying it less especially live unless it is like a really great band. Anyways I would be curious to see what people think. I am turning into an old man?
Treefort style
March 23, 2024
What's up, this week I went to treefort music festival in Boise, Idaho. It was hella sick and such a good time. I think the best set I saw was honestly maybe my friends set. Moon Owls Mages is my homies band. They are a heavy ass rock band with like maybe a metal and psych vibe too. I am not normally into that type of stuff especially psych rock but they are honestly so sick. All of them are insanely skilled players. Espcially the homie on lead guitar. Then later that night I saw Video Age. I was already a fan of theirs before the show but man the live show was so fire. They had an insane pocket. I really just had to dance. It seriously rocked so hard. We played a fire ass set to be honest as well. I think the day after I had like 20 people come up to me and say they thought it was sick. We also did like 4 interviews, which was cool. It is cool to have people want to talk to you about what you got going on. Sometimes interviewers be asking lame ass questions though. Like maybe we don't want to talk about our writing process again. I don't know but for me I enjoy interviews that are more just talking about normal stuff. Like where they ask them funny or silly questions. Maybe some stuff that has nothing to do with music.
The Real Biggie Cheese
March 18, 2024
What's up everyone I'm out here rocking biggie cheese style. I couldn't remember what biggie cheese was from and then I looked it up, turns out he is a rapper in the movie flushed away. He is like a big funny mouse or rat maybe. That is a funny movie. I think it is even funnier to tell people it was directed by Guy Ritchie. Also turns out biggie cheese is from barnyard I just double checked. I think he could also be in flushed away through the dreamworks extended universe. Anyways I was just thinking about how much stuff we see every day in movies, TV, and all type of other stuff. We comprehend so much every day and try to remember everyday. I felt like a while ago my memory was super bad and so I looked into what was causing that. They say it can be a whole bunch of different stuff online but also they say the shorter your attention span the shorter your memory will get sometimes. We all know that instagram is frying our shit heavy so I already kind of knew that. I feel like majority of people are aware of that now. Anyways online it says some of the best ways to keep your memory and make it better is a lot of reading and writing. I don't feel that I am a good writer but I do like to do it so that is kind of how this all started. Also I already felt like I should do it more and read a lot more so this a good way to encourage myself to do that. Either way though I still do think about memories a lot. I wish that I could remember more all the time. I feel like I have a pretty good catalouge in my brain of names of movies, music, and people I think are intresting. It always bothers me though because it feels like eventually you have to remove some of the names from your brain the more you add and you don't really get to choose what goes away. For me this usually happens with music. I will try to remember a song I liked 3 years ago and then I can't for the life of me get it out of the weeds. Sometimes it's just a peice of melody or a few words I can look up to try to find it. Ian my roomate is good at this though he has a great internal library. I call him very often to remember things. He almost always seems to know what I am talking about. I wonder if maybe because he isn't trying so hard to remember that the memory comes easier to him. Either way this always is frustrating to me. I hate when I can't remember something that I want to. It feels like I left the door unlocked on my car or something, I can't not think about it. Then I will forget that what I was trying to think of but I will still feel a remnant of stress or something and I will remember that I was trying to think of something. I have even had situations where I am trying to remember what I was trying to think of. It is so aggrivating. Does this ever happen to yall?
Mostly chilling tbh
March 13, 2024
Hey World, hahahaha I think I am going to start every blog that I do with " hey world " or something funny like that. Right now I am revisiting the Orange exuberance flavor of Guyaki Yerba Mate TM. It is a lot better than I remembered if I am being Honest. It is weird to drink any orange drink that isn't OJ or crush though. Back in the days a crush used to really do it for me. These days I am soda-sober as they say. That stuff is no good for you man. Anyways I have been thinking about how sometimes when I meet people who I don't want to be particulary good friends with I will say odd shit to them just to make them squirm a little or to make me laugh. I am pretty sure that is wrong of me to do, but I have made a habit of doing it. Like for example if I go to a party and I meet a couple of goobers there I'll just like accuse them of saying the n-word or say I saw them jacking it in the bathroom just to stir the pot a little.( I make these kinds of jokes to everyone but especially like this to goobers) Now this is funny and sometimes they are good sports about it and it's all fun but then sometimes they react poorly. Now when the react poorly to this kind of thing I have made a bad habit of persisting in the joke and maybe even saying it louder. I do know that this is wrong but for some reason in the moment it seems harmless. I think I just forget where the line is sometimes. For example the other day I saw this girl with whom I have a mutual friend we can say. I knew she had just got into a relationship recently so after exchanging pleasantries I gave her a knowing sort of look and asked "So are things heating up with Tom?" I don't know why but I just knew she wouldn't really know how to answer this question given what I know about her. So then when she wouldn't say if things were heating up, I then said " so they must be cooling down". Then she sort of tried to explain that it wasn't heating up or cooling down and it was really funny to me at the time. In hindsight it really probably wasn't that funny and really wasn't funny to anyone but me. So then when I really think about it, am I just being kind of mean to people because I am bored and I don't care if they like me? Basically yes. Is that wrong? I don't know. I think it is if I am like really truly being mean or if I take it to far. I am sure there is a line in there somewhere. I feel like I need to think about these things because when you are 6'6 and pretty big for that height too, no one really tells you when you are being an asshole. Obviously like my friends and GF do but they are not at everything I am at, or part of each conversation that I have. Maybe I am thinking about it to much I am not sure. I think I'll make a comment section or somthing later so you can let me know what you think. Maybe just email me if you have any thoughts. Ohben2000@gmail.com
Rocking AZ style
March 8, 2024
This past week I went to Tucson with this company that drives people around at like rich people / billionaire conventions. So I flew down there to work and it was pretty wild. You have to like pull up to this private air strip and you go right up to the PJ and then they jump into your car. Some of them are nice and will talk to you or shake your hand and others will not do anything. They almost act like you don't exist and for what reason I really dont know. I'm not sure what that even does for them. Then other times though I can remember that I Have almost done the same thing in certain situations. Not really to someone who was working or doing a service for me. More like I will see someone I know at the store and then I will sort of look the other way and act like I didn't see them or something. I think maybe I think that a lot of people probably wouldn't come up to me and say anything unless we locked eyes or something. Which typically does seem to be the case. Anyways even if said person doesn't know I am like avoiding them or whatever is it still mean or wrong of me to do? I don't know. Basically this happened to me last night where I was at the store and saw this girl I know she is more of a like a mutual friend type but I have spent time with her on a few occasions at like parties and other gatherings. For some reason though my initial reaction was to ignore her and walk the other way. Then when I was walking the other way I started to feel bad and thought about if somehow they had noticed I was ducking them so then I went back over towards her and then it seemed like maybe she was ducking me hahahaha. Could all be in my head, but if a person has never really done anything wrong to you is it wrong to avoid them? I just feel like it is good to say hello and acknowledge all people. I think a lot of people probably go almost all day without someone really saying a good hello or giving a nice hand shake. I think that is the reason I feel guilty about stuff like that is because I think about the people who are like truly lonley and maybe that would mean something to them if I stopped and said hello. I really struggle with giving people the time of day sometimes if like I have something else I want to do or like at a function another person I would rather talk to. I am trying to be better about this.
Thoughts from my walk
February 28, 2024
Hey everyone. Today I was walking and it was so nice outside but there was this guy who was behind me for like 4 blocks it was so funny, I thought maybe he was following me but turns out he was just on the way home. Funny how that goes. Sometimes when I turn around in the car I almost sort of hope that the people are following me. Maybe the police or someone else for some reason. The idea of having to escape is really tantilizing to me. I feel like thats half the reason that heist movies are so cool anyways. Just the idea of getting away with something is so cool. I never really stole anyting but I bet that that is half the fun. Anyways when I turn around I always almost imagine that someone is following me and how I would escape. There was one time I had a cop follow me on my moped and I always wish i would have ducked down some alleys or something and ran away I bet i could have got away.
New blog style
February 25, 2024
Dropping another bad boy in for this week. I went to delta this week and made some geode statues or whatever you want to call them. Its like geodes that I cut and shape into hearts and bears and stuff. It was hella good for me. I needed to do some hard work and make some shmoney baby. Nothing like some labor to clear the mind. I think I am ready to post my site though basically all of the bones are ready to post up. I'm watching hamilton rn with my gf and honestly I can't stand Lin manuel miranda. The tunes and stuff are good but for some reason I just can't take that guy seriously. He is just like too goofy or something I really can't say. I don't want to be a hater but that guy is hella goofy to me.